His Embrace

            This last month I have been learning a lot about what it really means to be knit together with God. My past understanding of what an hour with God should look like has been erased as He teaches me the importance of allowing the Spirit inside of me to know the depth of who He is. God has been shaking me off as though I have sand all over me and he wants me to be able to walk into special places in His house without sand getting everywhere. Through some rough experiences I’m learning that God shakes the things that can be shaken so that the things that cannot be shaken will be all that remains. The things that can’t be shaken feed our Spirits.

I feel as though I’ve been soaking in the rain of His presence while being refined in His fire at the same time. God is emptying me of my ideas of what following and loving Him should look like and pulling me into His presence where His Holy Spirit teaches my Spirit all it needs to know. Our Spirits need to be fed with His presence, it is the only place that the mysteries of His kingdom make sense. Gods kingdom is where all the freedom in the world is hidden. I want to be addicted to God’s presence as I begin to live a life completely lead by the truth of Gods Kingdom known by my Spirit. I want my Spirit to be more tightly sewn to Jesus’ than my mind it to the world. I don’t want to have specific devotional times with God each day, but be aware of His Spirit throughout the day. I want to be a carrier of His Kingdom.

My Spirit comes alive in Gods presence and was created to remain there. The more time I spend with Him, the more I naturally love Him and love people.  Its like allowing a plant to grow in its natural habitat, our Spirits grow in the supernatural habitat of Gods presence. “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lords glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” (2Cor3:17) It is in this place that only His glory matters and all that can be shaken easily falls off. I’m now in a place where God isn’t simply the one I love, but He is of utmost importance to me. I desire to know Him in every way possible and understand the world like He does as His Spirit within me continues to grow.

“It requires no skill nor knowledge to go to God,

but only a heart resolute to turn to him,

and for him, and to love only him.”

-Brother Laurence

 

Healing Story

            This last Sunday I hurt myself while skating with some friends but was able to later experience God’s healing. We had just skated along the river and were on our way back to the car. The parking lot gravel was really rough and loose and my board stopped on a rock while my body went flying, hit the ground, and slid along the asphalt.  My guy friends took care of me by cleaning my wounds and taking some rocks out of my arm.  I was on my way home and felt so much pain in my arm I wanted to throw up.  I got home and was planning on taking a lot of Advil and falling asleep. My roommates had just made dinner with some ministry school friends and they ended up praying for me first. They used very little words when praying, all I felt was the intensity of Jesus’ love. I felt like my friend Nick was actually releasing the compassion and love of Jesus. The pain began to leave my arm as I felt God’s presence. I began to cry. I had never felt God care for me like this. He cared about me so much that he came and took all my pain. Nothing mattered but falling into Jesus’ arms and literally letting Him hold me. He loves us like that. This love was only from one who had searched me and knew me. He knew how to love me.

            At that moment about 80% of the pain left and I could easily bend my arm back and forth. Later that night I could feel it healing even more at church. It has been 6 days since I fell and my scab has healed so fast all my guy friends who saw the injury happen have been blown away. Each day as I watch my wound heal at a rapid pace I feel so special. God sees me and loves me and wants to take care of every little thing I think would be insignificant to Him.

           

 

Extravagant Love

So much has happened in the last month I don’t even know where to begin. The best way may be to start with this illustration of God’s love.

Last weekend my roommate Maggie brought us to her family beach house in Carmel to celebrate her 25^th birthday. Each time I had previously asked her what the house looked like she said you could only experience it because it couldn’t be described. The night we arrived to her home that sits on the cliffs along the ocean of Highway 1, God began opening my heart to His extravagant way of loving me. (the house is in the top right corner of this picture)

The home is surrounded by an old stone wall with one door which opens into a beautiful garden which leads down a path to their castle like home. It was built in 1922 using only stone. There are fireplaces in every room including the kitchen. There are tall ceilings, old bookshelves, a grand piano, and stone porches shadowed by trees; all overlooking the northern Californian coast line. We felt like the girls in Little Woman or Pride and Prejudice as we spent our time playing music, reading, cooking, taking walks and spending time with Jesus. It is a simple yet magic

al place with secret sitting spots throughout the grounds along the cliffs. Each time we came home from downtown I still couldn’t believe my eyes. My senses were on overload. I was completely romanced by this house. It was extravagant. It was a gift  that I did nothing to receive yet it surrounded me each morning I woke up to the ocean out my window.

            The first night we arrived I was running around screaming like a little girl who had been given the greatest gift she could never imagine. I was so overwhelmed and knew God was revealing something to me. This is what it is like living as His daughter. He is a majestic God and always always always has deeper places to take us in His love, places we don’t even have the ability to provide for ourselves. This is what it means to live in His Kingdom on earth. We are capable to do the imaginable humanly possible things, but what about the things God promises us which are supe

rnatural and unrealistic and seem to good to be true? He wants to pour it all out and we only have not because we haven’t asked. “He is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask for or imagine.” My friend Christen said, “God is showing us that we have been living with the mentality of living in a rented house when God really has us living in a castle.” He loves us more than we know. I’ve been learning its time to surrender to all the love and extravagance He has already promised and given me instead of living with the mentality I have to do something to receive what He wants to give me. We walk in grace, and I’ve been learning its only my mindset which has kept me from always living in His castle with Him.

 

Fun story

            While we were in Carmel Christen’s iphone died so we had to go to the Mac store in Monterey.  We get there and have to wait an hour to have a Mac guy look at it at their ‘Genius Bar’.  Christen and I sit down and a guy named Chris began working on her phone. We were chatting and he asked us why we would choose to live in Redding (common question). He had previously mentioned that he broke or sprained his wrist a couple days before so it was hard for him to work. We told him we went to a ministry school in Redding and actually saw God heal people all the time if he wanted us to pray for him. While nervously laughing he said, “sure why not.” We were joking with him about exchanging healings since Christens iphone was basically dead and her warranty was up. Well Chris became our friend and he ended up giving Christen a new iphone for free since her warranty was only one month up. Before we left Chris let us pray for his hand. We totally felt the presence of the Holy Spirit come. Chris could feel tingling and heat in his hand so we kept praying. He stepped back and began to bend His wrist and fingers while looking at us like…. “what just happened?” We told him that God really loved him and that he is important to God. Chris had to help the customer next to us so we had to leave but we’ve kept in contact with him and will definitely see him again.

            It was so exciting! Christen and I ran out of the store to the car jumping and laughing and praising Jesus. It was so wild, but there is nothing better than seeing Gods presence fall in a random place at a random time. He’s always waiting for us to just step out and believe that He is who He says He is and desires to do what He says He can do. He loves those who don’t know Him the same amount that we get to experience His love. It’s fun being apart of God pouring it out in any way possible.

            Christen and I got in our car and began to drive back to our castle by the sea. The sun was setting over the ocean and we were in a convertible. I turned on the radio and a certain rap song came on. I had previously heard this song right when I entered Redding the first time I moved here. I had asked God for a song that was going to typify my year here. The same song came on at that moment in Carmel as it played… “Dangerous, She’s Dangerous, She’s Dangerous”. Haha It was awesome. All and all life is a miracle and ridiculously unimaginable when you wake up each morning and turn all your attention to the one who always has all His attention on you and say,  “today is yours, I am yours”. It’s the most joyful thing to do every morning I get up. There is no sacrifice when you’re in love. 

Only the beginning!!

  Living in Redding and going to Bethel’s School of Supernatural Ministry has been nothing short of a wild adventure exploring the crazy heart of God. To begin, Redding is much more beautiful than I previously gave it credit for.  There is a 16 mile walk which lines both sides of a huge river and is completely covered with trees. My house is only 10 minutes away from Wiskeytown Lake where I can lay on the beach, listen to Jack J and pretend to hear waves. The water is so clear it looks tropical.  A friend took us wakeboarding and skurfing behind his boat last weekend…needless to say God has surprised me in every way possible. My roommates are rad. In the midst of a sometimes intense ministry school we manage to escape in my roommate Maggie’s convertible mini cooper. We’ll be jammin to Michael Jackson while driving up to church or go on joy rides at night. Maggie is one of 10 kids and grew up on a farm outside of Chicago. She is an incredible actress musician and singer and was just living with the Rwandan President for the last year. I call her the rock star.  Lauren and I met in Argentina one year ago. She has a hair salon out of our house and is practically a Latina with her passionate personality and fluency in Spanish.  Christen, I knew from Santa Barbara and is straight up goofy, wild, passionate, missing the coast with me… and has drawn me to be constantly entertained by a youtube video named “The farting Preacher: (it’s a must see).  We all cannot believe how much God has blessed us with each other and already feel like best friends.  God has not only strategically connected us at the heart and soul but continually gives us prophetic words of encouragement for one another. Its just a blast. 

School is incredible. I have never been under the leadership of so many profound people dedicating themselves to us 800 students who have each given up a year to be in Redding, CA to simply know the depth of who God is and how he has created us to live for Him. The first day of class there was so much energy in the room during worship.  I really think there are more foreigners than Americans here. It’s sweet to hear crazy stories of how some students had to fight to get here. There are middle aged husband and wife teams that gave up there jobs, older woman who say they just desire to see God move powerfully as long as they have left to live, and crazy college age students who don’t know what to do with themselves until they more greatly know the Jesus who is calling them, the destiny God dreamed for them, and how to powerfully love people as Jesus did.  

             All of our real classes begin this next week. I am taking a class on learning to prophecy and another on leading people through inner healing. Inner healing is when Jesus heals the emotional wounds and lies that past occurrences and relationships have had on our relationship with God and others. On top of this I am taking a Spanish class and participating in a weekly outreach to a woman’s drug recovery center. Throughout the week we are also being taught by the pastoral staff and always having radical worship and sweet fellowship times together.

            These last three weeks have been overwhelming in every good way.  God has simply been telling me and revealing to me how much He loves me. He tell me He believes in me and that I am His daughter. He really does have an unimaginable destiny for me, one that I cannot plan, one that starts the moment I turn my face to His everyday and learn who He sees me as. These truths have become realities. Once you realize you’re Father is the King, bringing His kingdom to earth is what you know you were born for. This can come in anyway He desires, God just wants everyone to encounter His love. God is very creative and loves to show people just how important they are to Him through healing, or hearing a prophecy that connects them to His heart, or just touching them with His presence. I am so excited to learn more about how to experience and lead people to experience a powerful encounter with God. I was blessed by the powerful touch of Gods love two days ago…. Let me tell you my story.

 

My healing

            I was recently completely healed from a disease that I’ve battled since I was thirteen. It all began when God gave me a dream where I was reaching out to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment. It was the most real dream I’ve ever had, yet I didn’t understand it. A couple of nights ago at retreat, Bill Johnson spoke to about 200 of us and all the leadership prayed for everyone in fire tunnel form. At the end of the night there was only one person sitting up front chatting with Pastor Bill. God reminded me of my dream. Bill Johnson is very well known so I was nervous to go up and introduce myself, but I wanted to get prayer for my colitis. So I introduced myself and thanked him for everything He had been pouring into all of us.  I continued to explain I had battled with colitis since I was thirteen and wanted him to pray for me. We chatted for a while about the emotional root of being self critical and hard on myself, and that Jesus never based someone’s healing off of that in the Bible. Pastor Bill was ridiculously filled with compassion and love, I felt like the most important person in the room. As he began to pray for me my body was thrown back by the power of God. He broke generational stuff off me and spoke complete restoration into me. What happened next was just wild. I laid on the ground feeling the intense peace and presence of God and began to feel my intestines heal. Every part that had been soar for years was being healed. It was crazy. I felt so cared for by Jesus. I was so so so happy and could barely sleep that night as the intensity of God’s presence remained with me.

            So all in all it has been a crazy ride these last three weeks but I’m learning so much so fast and continue to be transformed by God. I couldn’t be happier. There is no place I would rather be right now and only look forward to what is going to come!